Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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