do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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