OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize