The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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