So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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