So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
