so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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