I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
