mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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