dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
