16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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