dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
