wrigley field is MILF paradise
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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