Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
