Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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