My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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