i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
