We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
