Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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