I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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