some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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