wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
