Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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