New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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