a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
