shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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