I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
