He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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