If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
