After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
