you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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