The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
