He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
