yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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