Pappa wants mamma naked
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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