do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
