So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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