I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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