My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
