Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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