no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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