The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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