why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
