I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
