Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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