I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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