She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
