so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
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I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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