how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
