I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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