Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
