whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
