so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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