Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
