Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
