i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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