i just wanna soil my oats bro
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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