This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
