it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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