Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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