Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
