like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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