I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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