So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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