Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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