My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize