All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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